#and 5 min later hes baffled that he was wrong.

[5-pp-man]

love how this couple comes in for their 30th anniversary and they seem a little annoyed w one another so immediately Seigi is like. yup. i smell a divorce coming.

[skadiyoko]

I wonder if anyone would be interested in stories from work?

12/12/20

Today was nonstop, I’m literally doing the work of 3 people (again), and while I’m trying to help my coworker work an 87 piece truck (she was already on overtime), an old man comes up to ask if we still take cake orders, and what prices are. After helping him with that, he gives me details about how the cake is for his church, and that they have to cut it in single slices and wrap them individually the night before this year. He then proceeds to say how he was annoyed he had to wear a mask, since he had COVID back in April and is therefore “immune” now, then he proceeds to say it was the worst 6 days of his life, and went into detail about how he soiled himself twice in a row and had to streak through his house. Then he goes on to say how he worked at the store back when it was still across the street, and reminisced about the stores that used to be where the current store is. Then he said good luck with the truck and left.

Later one of the store managers came back and said a lady called and complained the cake she ordered was “flat” and said it wasn’t worth the $40 she paid for it. I kind of...raised my eyebrow and found her order, it was a 1/2 sheet marble, so I went in the freezer and found the other half of the sheet, and brought it out to show the manager that it was the same size as they always are, plus said the cake is $36.99 not $40. My manager proceeded to call this girl back, and the number she gave my manager was wrong and the person she called had no idea what she was talking about. So I look at our order form and the number and name she gave us when ordering the cake was completely different to what she told the manager, and when my manager called this number, I could kind of tell they didn’t expect it bc the person said “She’s on her way up there” and hung up. My manager is baffled and kind of rolls her eyes, and tells me to call her if this girl comes, though I had about 45 mins left in my shift, and she never came while I was there, I kind of doubt she did and was expecting an immediate refund or something, and when that didn’t work out she either gave up or was gonna try something else another day.

This wouldn’t be the first time someone tries to complain about a perfectly fine cake just to try and get it for free, hell a lady earlier in the day comes in at 10:45 asking for her cake, my coworker was still working on it since it wasn’t due til 11, so this lady huffs and stands there for 15 mins (kids acting wild and mask covering her chin and not her mouth, btw), and my coworker gets done with it at 10:58, gives it to her and wishes her a nice day, and I kid you not the lady set it down and hunched over it, looking at it CLOSELY for a good 5 mins, then complains that the image is slightly off center. This is not the first time this lady has done this, and has actually bragged about how she used to go to a different store, but she “ordered 10 cakes from them last year and all of them were messed up” and how she got over $100 of cake for free, so we KNOW she came to our store bc the other store started refusing to take her orders, and guess what now we will be refusing her service as well. (she complained to management and they gave her a $3 gift card bc they could see right through her too, I hope that was worth embarrassing herself for)

[pxjiminsi]

Prettiest Smile

Chapter 2 from the Series : Before you go

Synopsis: Wanting to escape the unending criticism from your peers and parents about your life choices, you flew to L.A to figure out your life. On the same flight, you encounter an early debut, full of dreams, Bangtan Sonyeondan. Not knowing that that encounter will change your life forever.

Pairing: Jimin x reader, Taehyung x reader, Jin x OC, OT5 x reader platonic love

Fic Type: Slice of life au

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: slice of life, fluff, mild smut, and a healthy amount of angst

Warning: few cuss words 

A/n: Hi! This will be my first BTS Au in tumblr, I’ll be also uploading my old works here! Friendly comments and criticism from my fellow writers and readers as I want to improve my writing further on. I hope you enjoy my series.

Updates are every week, or as fast as I can!!

“We have the whole house to ourselves for the week, so feel at home!” Soo Yun exclaimed as she threw you a water bottle from the kitchen, dehydrated from that 45-minute drive from LAX to her home. “We have so much to catch up on, how’re your parents? Thank God they let you go on this trip huh? How’s Jae? You’re already what? A year in a relationship?” Her questions were non-stop and as much as you missed her after so long, you’re not that excited to answer all those questions as the main reason you went to L.A is to get away from them and your life in Korea as far as possible.

“They’re all great.” holding a tight grip on your bag and with a smile on your face to avoid answering her bombarding question of how your life has gone downhill since you entered University. “I’m jet-lagged and I’d like to take a nap before we go out for lunch, can you show me where I'd stay?” “It’s upstairs, first door on your left! I’m going to take a shower, but call me if you need anything.” Soo Yun said as you disappeared carrying your luggage up the stairs. You plop in your bed sighing, finally realizing that you’re going to start your new life in this foreign country and no one’s going to help you but yourself. You doze off wondering when your life will begin.

“Y/n, y/n!” Soo Yun nudged until you half-opened your eyes “Your phone’s ringing non-stop! How can you sleep through that noise?” Still disoriented, you answer your phone “Hi please tell me you have my bag” You get confused if you’re still dreaming and wonder why someone is looking for their bag when you’re asleep the whole time. “Hello?? My group went back to the airport because I think we switched luggage. Mine’s in neon pink, please tell me you have it?” You almost fell out of bed and rushed to see the tag on your bag, “Kim Seokjin?” you whispered out of confusion. “Yes, that’s me, and you’re y/n, right? Can we meet to exchange luggage? We can meet somewhere public, I'm not a bad person, I promise I just need to get my stuff back” you can hear his desperation in his tone, but he snickered when he heard you groaning your brains to your pillow from your stupidity back in the airport.

“Yes, of course, I need my stuff back too. We can meet at Shake shack in Hollywood blvd. I’ll be there in 30 mins.” impulsively suggesting as you’ve been craving burgers since you saw shake shack on your way here and Soo Yun’s planning to get lunch anyway. Hearing this Kim Seokjin’s angelic voice, maybe it’s safe to meet him. “What will you be wearing?” he asked, but you bet he didn’t think his question through “I mean of course to recognize you, I didn't mean anything bad with that, I'm sorry” he panics. How cute. “I don’t think it matters because of our matching bright neon pink bags, we might go blind if we see each other” you sarcastically said, being equally embarrassed with your bright luggage. You heard his laugh and you immediately softened. “Okay, see you in 30 mins.”

You run to the bathroom to wash your puffy face from your 2-hour nap, put light make-up on, and brush your hair. “Wow, first day in L.A and I'm going to get kidnapped… by a man who loves neon pink” questioning his taste while putting on your oversized black denim jacket with your white crop top and high-waisted shorts. First of all, you didn’t have a say when your parents bought that luggage in a sale at the mall and that’s the only luggage you have big enough to bring almost all your life away from Korea. “Soo Yun, I’m ready, let's go.”

It's been 10 minutes since you and Soo Yun arrived at shake shack, almost wanting to switch restaurants for their unbelievably overpriced burgers and fries. You glance at your friend and she seems to not be bothered by it. Maybe after 5 years of being in the states, capitalism will take over you. Succumbing to your growling tummy, you order the cheapest burger and fries meal. You devour your fries like there is no tomorrow while you almost choke on your coke at the sight of Park Jimin entering the restaurant together with Jeongguk and their friend whom you’re not familiar with, dragging your bag.

Jeongguk saw you and pointed in your direction. Your heart almost dropped at the sight of Jimin, thinking that you had seen the last of him in that plane and you’d just see him reach his dreams on television. A huge smile appeared on his face when he saw you, almost sprinting to get to your table with Jeongguk behind him. “It’s only been a few hours you missed me that much huh?” He looks at you then proceeds to wave his hands to the roaming eyes of his friend. The fact that you’re happy to see him again was written all across your face, but you tried your best not to show it as it may stir feelings inside you and confuse Soo Yun. She’s already baffled at why you’re already friends with people, good-looking people you may add, you mismatched bags with. You gave her an I’ll explain it to you later look as she nodded bewildered and continued with her food.

“Jin-hyung, I found the culprit.” Pointing at you while seating at the empty seat in front. Seeing that you made this man who looks like an angel, by the way, struggle with your luggage made you feel sheepish. “Finally we meet. I'm sorry for the hassle I have caused you. I’m Kim Seokjin” He brushed his hair up while catching his breath. “No, I'm sorry, I should've paid attention that I took the wrong bag at the airport.” you try to avoid Jimin’s stare as you pull your luggage to your side switching with Jin’s “I’m y/n and my friend, Soo Yin” you both held your hands as he reached for them to shake. 

“What’s in that bag anyway? It’s so heavy.” Jeongguk asked, taking a fry in your tray and popping it in his mouth. You falter at his question, uh my whole life in Korea is in that bag and I don’t intend on coming back if I can. “Just a lot of clothes.” You shrugged focusing on the cars passing by outside. Jimin sensed that Jeongguk’s question made you uncomfortable. “Let’s go now, everyone’s waiting in the car” he gets up as Jin and Jeongguk said and waved goodbye to you and Soo Yin. “Good luck with your training, I’ll make sure to watch your videos on the internet” Soo Yin stood up waving at Jin and Jeongguk looking so mesmerized by the two. They waved back for the last time before disappearing outside. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Jimin held his hand but you just nodded overlooking his help and signed at your friend that you’ll just be gone for a minute.

“I didn’t know I'd get the chance to see you again,” he said almost whispering. You’re not looking at him so you can’t tell, but you can hear the nervousness in his voice “Well, I think you knew we’d see each other again because you didn’t tell Jin that we knew each other and that I got his bag by mistake.” calling his bullshit as you take a peek seeing a smirk forming in his lips knowing he’s enjoying this. “Okay, okay” he held both of his hands up surrendering to you, slightly laughing. “But this feels like fate, don't you think so? I would very much like to have your number. I’d get it from your suitcase or Jin-hyung but it doesn’t feel very gentlemanly if I did that without your permission.” You look up to him this time. Giving you a glimpse of his sincerity and timidity you didn’t see before.

You debate to yourself whether to give in because it’s him. For the first time in a very long time, your heart fluttered again. You laughed again. You didn’t sleep tired from crying. For the first time, someone listened to you without pity. You felt like yourself again. He made all that happen in just a few hours. You began to ponder if you do believe in fate. Is this what fate feels like?

Thinking about all the possibilities, but you already had an answer in your mind.

“No, I have a boyfriend back home.” What you said is true, but why does your heart feel like it’s breaking. You see the way his face twitches, feeling guilty if he feels like you lead him on. “Oh, I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” sounding like a wounded puppy, you endure the temptation to pull him closer and hug him after hearing his tone. “I have to go, they’re waiting for me in the car.” For the first time, it’s him avoiding your eyes. He turned around and started to walk. You don’t say anything. You don’t have to, you just stare at his back wondering if you made the right decision. He stopped walking and turned to meet your gaze “You know, your boyfriend is very lucky to have you. Please support us in the future” He smiles the prettiest of smiles, then he’s gone.

[wegotjiminsjams]

A Christmas Miracle

Oneshot

Yoongi X Reader

Word Count: 4850

Genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, Slow burn (kind of)

A/N: I wanted to post this last christmas but it wasn’t complete so I’m just posting it now. Lol. XD 

The city indeed looked breathtaking, covered in snow and beautiful lights decorating the streets. People walking around were dressed warmly along with their Santa hats. Naturally, as it was the day before Christmas, everyone around seemed to be in a holiday mood with happy smiles and warm gestures but alas, you couldn’t join in with the festive spirit because you had work. Work on Christmas Eve! Talk about bad luck. You sigh and look away from the window, enough with the longing stares, the sooner you finish your work, the sooner you can leave. Your flight back home was at 5 pm, another four hours left. At Least you’ll get to spend Christmas day with your family.

You look around your office and there’s absolutely no one there except for the security. It’s only fair since it is Christmas and everyone is spending time with their families, everyone except you. But to be completely honest this was all on you, you were always a perfectionist. 

This month you had taken on an extremely important project, while everything was done smoothly, the clients were very impressed and you had managed to gain a great profit for the company, however you hadn’t backed up the reports and accidentally dropped the pen drive with the only copy of the reports in coffee. They were lost for good. Your boss Hoseok had told you not to worry about it, that it wasn’t a big deal. They were the extra reports which could be filed in later on. He had urged you to take an early Christmas break and get back to it later. But you wouldn’t be you, if you weren’t a perfectionist. You insisted that it wouldn’t take much time and you would finish it before the vacation. 

Now thinking back on it, you curse yourself and wish you had just taken the Goddamn opportunity when you had it. Sighing once again you get back to your work, trying to finish it as soon as possible, when someone behind you clears their throat. Your heart nearly jumps out, as you turn to see who it is. As far as you knew the office was completely empty except for the security at the front and you hadn’t heard anyone enter either so naturally you were shocked to see the one person you absolutely did not want to.

“Did I scare you sweetheart?” spoke the annoying voice of Min Yoongi. He had his signature smirk on his face that told you, it was his exact intention to scare you. 

Hearing that annoying nickname immediately put a scowl on your face, “What are you doing here Min?” you asked. 

Min Yoongi was a colleague, a rather annoying one you might add and your partner in the very project you were working on right now. He was partially to blame for you to be working like this last minute. You see, Yoongi and you had this ongoing rivalry and always tried to best each other. You both always found ways to undermine the other. So even though your boss was lenient and allowed you to finish the reports after the holidays, you did not want Min Yoongi to be able to use this against you in the future, saying things like “we didn’t make a larger profit because of the late report filing” or “If I was in charge this wouldn’t have happened.” 

Logically speaking these reports really did not matter much, but you wouldn’t put it past Min Yoongi to use even the tiniest thing against you. The man was infuriating. And this was only one thing among the many other things that he did just to annoy you. If it wasn’t his constant showing off at how good and competent he is, then it was his constant jokes and attempts to flirt with you, just to get you all worked up and embarrassed because he loved getting you riled up. You were convinced that his only goal in life was to make you miserable. To add on to your misfortune, everyone else in the office absolutely loved the pest. Especially all the ladies, who ogle at him like hormone raged school girls, as if Min Yoongi needs anymore of an ego boost. 

Fine, maybe the man was good at his job and kind of handsome, you’ll reluctantly agree to that. But with that personality and such a big ego how could anyone stand him was just beyond you. 

“If you remember correctly, we were both in charge of this project sweetheart” he replies to your question, “So I’m just here to do my part, I don’t want anyone taking credit for the whole project later on you see.” 

Again with the stupid nickname. Already getting riled up with his mere presence you huff and respond to him, “First of all asshole, stop calling me sweetheart and second, it was my mistake that the reports weren’t submitted so I will take care of it. No one is discrediting anyone here so you can go back and annoy your family instead of me.” 

He gave you an amused look, “If you think I’m just going to abandon you and let you take the complete load, you’ve mistaken y/n.” he says seriously. “We both worked on this project and came up with the report. Now who’s ever mistake it was, it’s still unfair that only you have to do it all over again.” 

For a moment you are completely dumbfounded. Is Min Yoongi really being a decent human being right now? You are completely baffled by his behaviour and just stare at him astonished. 

When you don’t reply he just shrugs, “Besides, with me here you’ll be done in no time, cause I’m really excellent at anything I do.” he says, voice oozing with smugness. 

Aaha! There he is, the extremely cocky, big headed Min Yoongi that you know. Never leaves an opportunity to show off. 

Scoffing, you instruct him “Fine you can start with the marketing strategy, I haven’t gotten to that part yet.” And turn away from him to focus on your work. 

The two of you work in peaceful silence for a while. Well as peaceful as it can get with Min Yoongi around, constantly tapping his foot and clicking his pen. The only other sounds coming from pages turning and the typing sounds of your computers until Yoongi breaks the silence to ask you a question. 

“Hey, how come you didn’t go to visit your family for Christmas? Don’t you go every year?” 

You’re a little perplexed that he knew you went every year. Does Min Yoongi really pay attention to people besides himself? 

“Well, I am going, my flight is in three and a half hours, I just delayed my trip a little to complete the work” you say nonchalantly. 

“Really Y/n???” he asks shocked, “You really gave up spending time with your family for work? What is wrong with you! Actually wait, no, you wouldn’t be y/n if not a stubborn perfectionist.” he says with a sly smile 

“Oh shut up!” you huff, “Stop acting like you know me.” 

“Oh but I do sweetheart.” There’s that smug smile on his face again.

Seeing no point in arguing with him further, you just give him the classic eye roll. Something that you find yourself doing often only when he is around. 

“Well, we already know that I’m a workaholic loser, but what about you? Why didn’t you go home for Christmas?” you ask him. 

His cheeks get a slight red tinge at your question. “Aah, I actually had a prior commitment, so I too, delayed my trip.” he says this in a way of trying to sound nonchalant. 

“Prior commitment, On Christmas?” you ask confused. “What is it? Or should I ask who is it?” you tease laughingly. 

His eyes widen and his cheeks are coloured with a blush once again. This is the second time Yoongi has gone all shy today and it’s because of this “prior commitment.” Could it really be that Yoongi has girlfriend? If you think about it, in the past three and a half years of working here you actually don’t remember him mentioning a girlfriend or significant other. And he wouldn’t be constantly flirting and annoying you if he was dating right? But maybe things have changed for him recently. However, you don’t know why but the thought that Yoongi could be dating someone puts a sour taste in your mouth. I mean it’s definitely because you feel bad for the poor soul that’s stuck with him, right?

“What? No no, it’s nothing like that y/n trust me!” he says a bit too panicky. 

“Okaaay, calm down Yoongi” you say “I was only teasing. Then if not a girlfriend, what was so important that couldn’t wait till the end of the holidays?” you ask curiously. 

“Only teasing?” he asks smugly, “Sounds to me like you were jealous, sweetheart.” he says not answering your question once again. 

You roll your eyes once again, “Ugh, You wish.”

“By the way, there’s only a few hours left for your flight, come on we have only a  little work left and then you won’t have to rush to the airport.” he says trying to change the topic. 

You don’t know why but Yoongi is being really weird about this whole situation. You want to pry and find out what’s got him like this, but seeing his reaction and unwillingness to answer, you decide to let it go for now.  

Yoongi and you get back to working in silence for a while, you both are almost done with the report and are proofreading the final copy with utter concentration when the sound of your phone ringing breaks your focus. The screen displays your mom calling, she must be just checking on you to see if you’ve left for the airport. You turn to yoongi and give him a look to say ‘excuse me’ and pick up the call. 

“Yes mom, I’m almost done with work and will leave for the airport soon” you say before she can begin worrying. 

“Y/n dear…that’s not why I’m calling.” your mom says tentatively. “Haven’t you seen the news sweetheart?” 

“The news? Huh? Mom what are you talking about?” you ask confused. 

“Y/n there is a huge snow storm all across the cities, all flights have been cancelled” she informs you gravely. 

A snow storm? No, it can’t be. You move over to your office desktop to check the news online. Yoongi watches you curiously and looks over your shoulder to see what you’re looking at. And it’s true, there is a huge snow storm that is affecting a lot of cities and as a result transportation like trains, flights and busses have been cancelled. Immediately a sense of dread takes over you, if you hadn’t been so stubborn to finish the work you could have already been with your family and avoided this whole mess. Now you will have to spend Christmas all alone. 

“Hello? Y/n are you there?” your mom’s voice through the phones pulls you out of your reverie. 

“Uh…ye..yes mom, I’m here.” you say trying not to choke up. Christmas is the only time you actually get to spend with your family, and because of your stupid stubborness you’re going to miss out. 

“Aww, honey I’m so sorry, Your dad and I feel really bad that you won’t be here with us, but please don’t cry alright. We’ll come visit you for New Year’s.” she says trying to cheer you up.

All you manage to say is a small “okay.”

“Y/n, you’re going to be okay right?” your mom asks worried. 

Not wanting to worry her any more you tell her you’ll be fine and that it’s not a big deal and end the call. You take a deep sigh and turn to your left where Yoongi is watching you intently. 

“Talk about bad luck, am I right?” you say trying to lighten the mood. 

He clears his throat and looks away “Uh, yeah. Well anyway I finished the remaining proofreading, so we’re officially done y/n.” He says. 

“What’s the point anyway, I’m still stuck here.” you huff. 

He only shrugs in response. And for a second you wonder if something is wrong with him. Because the Min Yoongi you know wouldn’t waste a single opportunity to mock you. He would totally call you out for being stubborn and putting yourself in this situation but instead there he is sitting silently and looking almost sad? 

And that’s when it hits you. He’s in the same situation as you. He can’t visit his family on Christmas either. You don’t know why but knowing he’s in the same boat makes you feel slightly better. Misery loves company I guess. No matter how annoying the company can be sometimes.

“So what are you going to do now? You know since you can’t leavetown?” he asks awkwardly. 

You let out a deep sigh, “Probably just going to heat up leftover pizza and watch reruns of The office.” you answer glumly. “What about you? Got any special plans?” 

He just shrugs, “Nope. Pretty much the same as you.” he announces.

You just nod solemnly. 

“Well..” he says packing up his things, “We should probably head out now.”

“Uh huh” you say and you move to gather up your belongings. 

Once the two of you are ready to leave, Yoongi turns towards you with a little nervous smile on his face, “Hey since we both can’t spend spend Christmas with our family, do you want to maybe spend it together instead?” 

You just stare at him, a little confused if you heard him right. Do you really want to spend Christmas with Min Yoongi? The guy who annoys you to the ends of the earth. Well now that you think about it, he hasn’t been all that annoying today. Maybe it won’t be so bad. After all it’s Christmas, do you really want to stay at home alone and wallow in self pity?

When you don’t answer him immediately he continues, “I know I’m probably the last person you want to spend Christmas with, but I was just thinking since we’re both probably going to be alone it will be nice to you know…” he trails off. 

“Yeah I’d like that” you say in a soft voice. 

“What? Really?” he can’t keep the surprise out of his voice, he is genuinely shocked that you agreed. Then he smiles softly and says “Alright then, shall we head to my place? It’s closer, only a few blocks away.” 

You just nod, not knowing what else to say. Suddenly you feel very awkward. What if it’s not a good idea to go with him? Yoongi and you have never really hung out together outside of work, so to suddenly spend Christmas together does seem a bit weird. Nevertheless you already agreed to it, so you just silently follow him out, hoping this doesn’t turn out to be a disaster. 

The walk to his apartment is a short and silent one. Once you both you enter his house, you notice that his place looks quite comfortable, cozy and surprisingly clean, unlike his desk at the office, which is always messy. There are a few pictures of friends and family on his wall and a sad looking christmas tree in one corner of the living room. Apart from this, there aren’t any decorations in his house. 

Trying to be a good host he takes off your coat for you and hangs it on his rack. “I’ll get you a change of clothes so that you can be more warm and comfortable” he says rushing into his bedroom. 

 After Yoongi and you have both freshened up and dressed comfortably, you both are seated on the couch, each with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. That awkward feeling is back again and you know he feels it too. The both of you have never really been in such a situation together, the only time the two of you interact involves a lot of bickering, so to say this is awkward is putting it lightly. 

Trying to relieve some of the tension you ask, “So…what are we going to do about dinner? Shall we order take out?”

“What? Take out on Christmas? No way.” he says appalled. “I have some chicken in the freezer, and maybe some spaghetti, we can make something.” he concludes. 

“Okayyy, but I’m not really good at cooking” you say a bit timidly.

His signature smirk that was missing for so long is back again, “The ever perfect y/n is bad at something? Somebody call the news channel” he teases. 

“Yeah yeah, I suck at cooking, everyone’s bad at something okay.”

“Well y/n, I’m sorry to disappoint, but not me. Along with my brilliant brain, charming good looks and incredible personality, I also happen to be a really good cook.” he says smiling. 

“You forgot to mention your immeasurable humility.” you say sarcastically. 

“Yes yes, that too.” he gives you a cheeky grin. 

You can’t help but chuckle. Finally you think, the awkward tension is dissipating and you both can get back to your normal bickering selves. 

After finishing with your hot chocolates, Yoongi gets up from the couch and goes toward the kitchen, “Well y/n, since you’re basically useless at cooking…” he says as he takes out an old bottle of wine from the cabinet “Why don’t you set the table instead?” he says pointing to a small table with two chairs in the corner of the kitchen. 

“Yeah, for once you take can take on the heavy load.” you say smugly and get on with the job assigned to you, while Yoongi begins to prepare the food. 

“Are you saying that I never take on the heavy load?” he asks feigning hurt. 

“Yes that’s precisely what I’m saying, Yoongi.” 

“How dare you! After I just helped you today?” he looks appalled but you can tell he doesn’t mean this seriously. 

“Oh please! You big baby, you have it so easy for you, being best friends with Hoseok and all. He lets you get  away with anything.” you complain. 

“Hey that’s not true,” he retorts, “He’s just as hard on me as he is on everyone else.”

“Oh really?” you raise an eyebrow “Then why does he always let you pick partners for any project before anyone else?” 

He goes silent at that. That’s right, he thought you didn’t know about it, but you did. 

You continue enjoying his dumbfounded expression, “And you always pick me as your partner, just to get on my nerves, I know it.” you declare. 

“Oh really now?” he says raising an eyebrow “You don’t know me or my motives, y/n” he says matter of factly. 

“Oh but I do sweetheart” you retort back with a smirk of your own. 

Yet again he’s dumbfounded and looks at you with an unreadable expression on his face, it’s almost like adoration? No, it can’t be, right? But it’s gone just as quickly, as if it never happened. 

He just shakes his head and chuckles, “Trust me y/n, Hoseok doesn’t let me choose partners, that happened only once. He just thinks the two of us work really well together and I agree with him. Don’t you?” 

“Hmm…yeah. Maybe you aren’t so incompetent at your job” you say, not wanting to admit aloud that he’s actually one of the best at Jung Corporations. 

Since you’ve finished setting the table, which there wasn’t much to do anyway, you opt to sit on the chair and watch Yoongi as he busily prepares your dinner. He looks so comfortable, like he’s done this a million times before and he probably has. He’s even humming a soft little tune to himself and you can’t help but think that he looks so peaceful. Seeing how he’s so immersed in the process, you start to notice his features, and you get why almost every girl in the office fawns over him. He is handsome, incredibly so, but of course you will never admit to this out loud. 

Just then he looks up at you and smiles, and you try to act like you weren’t just staring at him this whole time. “Dinner is almost ready,” he says, “Can you serve the wine?” 

You nod and get up to serve the wine while he places the dishes at the table, Stir fry chicken with spaghetti. You’re surprised by how good it looks, even though he just spun this up with whatever was available at home. And without further delays the two of you dig in. 

As soon as you take the first bite, you realise he was not kidding when he said he’s a great cook. “Mmmm…Yoongi, this is actually incredible” you say with a mouth full of food. 

He too, smiles back at you with a mouthful of food, “I told you didn’t I? I’m a great cook.”  

“Yeah fine, I’ll give this one to you” you say reluctantly.

The both of you settle into a comfortable silence for the rest of dinner. You can’t help but notice how domestic this all seems. Yoongi and you spending Christmas together, him cooking dinner, the two of you bickering and laughing, almost like a couple. Wait…what? A couple?  Why are you having such thoughts? No less about Min Yoongi of all the people. Something is wrong with you, maybe the wine is hitting you more than you think. Or maybe you’re just overwhelmed with the strange turn of events today and you’re just missing your family that’s all. Yeah that’s definitely got to be it. There is no other logical explanation. 

Seeing your troubled expression, Yoongi asks “Y/n, is everything okay?” 

“Yes of course, why wouldn’t it be?” you say trying not to raise suspicion. 

He moves his hand on the table to keep over yours, “I know this is probably the last thing you wanted to do, but I’m glad you came today y/n.” he says with a lot of sincerity. 

You look down at his hand over yours and look back up at his face. He has that similar unreadable expression, what is it? attraction? Adoration? Kindness? You can’t tell, but it once again has you thinking all kinds of thoughts. Not trusting yourself to speak coherent words, you don’t say anything back and just smile at him instead. 

After dinner and clearing up the kitchen, the two of you find yourselves on the couch once again, browsing through netflix deciding what to watch. You turn to look at Yoongi, his focus is on the TV, he looks a little nervous to you. You think that maybe it’s because he’s missing his family. Seeing the pictures on the wall and remembering the few times he’s mentioned his family at work in passing, does seem like he’s close to them. This makes you wonder what was that ‘prior commitment’ that was so important to delay his flight. He was being so evasive about it before, which makes you all the more curious, so you  decide to ask him again. 

“Hey Yoongi” you start

“Hmm?” he says without taking his eyes off the Television. 

“What was the reason you delayed your ticket?” you ask.

He stills at that, and turns to look at you. “This again? I told you it was nothing.” 

“It can’t be nothing if you had to sacrifice seeing your family for it.” you retort. 

“Well, I wasn’t sacrificing” he declares, “I just delayed my trip, I didn’t know this snow storm would come right?” 

“Still Yoongi!” you insist, “What was so important that it had to be done on Christmas?” 

“Y/n, why can’t you just let it go?” he asks tiredly “It was just a stupid thing.” 

“If it’s so stupid, why can’t you just tell me?” you demand. 

“Ugh y/n” he whines. 

“What? You constantly annoy and tease me, And the one time I ask you something you’re being shady about you can’t answer me?” you complain. 

He doesn’t respond to that. He doesn’t even look at you. He goes back to focusing on the Television, browsing through options. 

Frustrated you continue, “Is it something illegal?” you ask in a whisper “Drugs? Theft? Murder?!” 

“Y/n! Have you lost your mind?” he asks incredulously. “It’s nothing, just let it go.” he says with a tone of finality. 

But you are not you if not stubborn right? 

“It must a girlfriend then.” you say speculatively. “Why would you want to hide that Yoongi?”

“Y/n…it’s not that I already told you.” he says and you can see he’s losing his patience. 

“Then what is it?” you insist. “Why won’t you tell me? What can possibly be so goddamn important–”  

“Because of you!!” he interrupts you loudly “I heard that you were working overtime and cancelled my flight for you!” 

Immediately, you can see the shock and regret on his face. This is something he clearly did not want to say to you. 

You go completely silent at that. Gaping at him. You don’t know what to say. Why would he cancel his flight just for you? It makes no sense. 

“What? For me?” you ask confused. “Yoongi that makes no–” suddenly something clicks in your brain. 

“Yoongi, do you…do you like me?” you ask in a soft voice. 

He’s just staring at you. Silent for a moment before he answers, “I thought it was pretty obvious”

Your heart is pounding so fast at the moment, you’re afraid it’s going to burst. Did Min Yoongi just confess to you? Your mind is filled with so many questions. Why would he always annoy you and make you miserable then? Your mind is not able to wrap around this entire thing. 

Seeing you in shock like this, he begins, “Look y/n, I didn’t want you to find out this way I’m sorry, and I know you will probably never feel the same so can we just–”

You speak before he can even complete his sentence, “If you really like me then why do you always annoy me? And get me all riled up?” 

He looks a little embarrassed at that question, “Well…you see when you first joined work, you were so quiet and hardly spoke to people and I didn’t know any other way to get your attention. And well after that it was just so hard to go back so I kind of stuck with it.” he says looking at anything but you. 

You mind is still processing what he just said. Min Yoongi likes you. Has probably liked you for a long time. And all the times he annoys you was to get your attention? 

Seeing no response from you, he continues, “Y/n, I know you probably hate me even more now, I’m sorry I didn’t want it to happen like this. You’re probably regretting coming home with me tonight.” he says a bit too dejectedly. 

You look at him once again and think back to tonight, he was so much fun to talk to and spend time with. And when you really think about it, even though he annoys you to pieces, he’s never crossed a line, always so thorough with his work and you’ve seen him with other people, he’s always so kind and empathetic towards everyone. And right now he looks so dejected, that it makes your heart hurt, so you do something that you would probably never do while sober. Yes, let’s blame it on the insignificant amount of wine you consumed. 

You grab Yoongi’s face, and crush your lips to his. 

His whole body stiffens at the contact. You don’t let that deter you and continue to kiss him. His lips feel so soft and smooth and after a moment of hesitation, he starts to kiss you back. 

He unconsciously pulls you over his lap, without breaking the kiss,  so you’re now straddling him. You put your arms around his neck and tug at his hair, while his are around your waist pulling you even more closer to deepen the kiss and you’re practically gasping for air when he realises something and pulls away. 

His face is flushed, hair is messy yet you can’t help but think that he looks so incredibly hot. 

“Wait..so” he says in a deep voice “Does this mean…?” he looks at you hesitantly. 

You just put your head back and give a small chuckle. “Yes it does” you say “What happened to that brilliant brain of yours now?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. 

He just laughs, “I’ve never been so thankful for a snow storm before” he says with a huge grin on his face. 

You laugh once again and lean forward to kiss him on his nose, “Merry Christmas Yoongi.” 

He gives you a smile that could melt away all the snow. “Merry Christmas y/n.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 A/N: Hi it’s dragonfly here. I hope you liked it! I would love to hear your thoughts and comments. :)

[quarantinebreakup412081121]

Day 76: Sunburn

I went to the beach with a friend last week. Just for a day. I wore a face mask in the car and when we went into restaurants to pick up food. We sat apart on the beach and practiced social distancing from other people at the beach. It was a short, safe, and fun day trip. It was overcast pretty much the entire time, and as we sat down and started chatting, I forgot to put on sunscreen. I'm brown, and I don't tend to burn as easily as my white friends when we're out together in the sun, but that day I guess I was out long enough to feel it. Luckily it wasn't too bad. I'm just a little itchy, but there hasn't been any more painful rash/swelling/peeling. And I'm loving the tan that came out of it (but I will be more conscious about putting on sunscreen in the future to protect my skin and tattoos.) This morning a Facebook friend posted an article stating that people can have black friends or partners and still be racist. I'm not black, and I've experienced racism, but my experiences will never come close to rivaling the racism the black people in this country (and around the world) face on a regular basis. This article was absolutely 100% accurate. It always baffled me when I'd go on dates and some of the guys I'd go out with were very aware that I was not white like them, but they'd still proceed to say borderline racist things in conversation. Almost as if they were separating POC and I was in one of the "good groups." What the hell?! How can you be cool with me, but say something racist about someone who is black--- and in front of me?! Maybe they were testing the waters to see if I would agree. I never did. That's disgusting and discrimination against any race by any race is disgusting. When I started dating my ex, he seemed incredibly sweet. He was an accidental right swipe on Tinder, but before I could unmatch, he had already sent me a message and I thought it would be rude to ignore it. So we talked, and I agreed to a date. Before our date that weekend, I ended up going on a terrible date with a guy who said something to the effect of a neighborhood being sketchy because "if you drove through at night, all you'd see are eyes and smiles." Like HOLY SHIT. I got out of there and promptly told him we were not compatible and deleted his number. That was yet another nightmare date and I was ready to cancel the date is made with my now ex and just stop dating completely for a while. But he seemed so excited and eager and I thought, one date can't hurt. We went on the date. It wasn't great, it wasn't terrible. I was ready to be done.  He wanted it to continue- so we went to Starbucks. He gave me flowers and chocolate before we parted ways. Nobody had ever done anything like that, it was a kind and thoughtful gesture. I still didn't think I cared to go out again and I was still set on the "no dating" path, at least for a little while. He was persistent, just in an excited and eager way, I didn't feel pressured, but he was just so happy to talk to me and was ready to plan more dates to the movies, to the bookstore, to get pizza. I gave in. I had dated total assholes before and thought, why don't I give the nice guy a chance. I'd always said I just wanted a guy would be nice, genuinely nice. So I agreed. We went to dinner again and then to a movie. I got dinner and he got the movie. At dinner he gave me a cuff bangle with a quote from my favorite book. It wasn't anything extravagant, and it was a little early for a gift, but it was perfect. From the moment he handed it to me, I wore it every single day for over 5 years. He wanted to meet my family, because he said they should know who I was hanging out when when I went out.  So they met that same week.  Within weeks of our first date, he drove us to visit my best friend (in a other city 90 minutes away) for a couples' weekend with her and her boyfriend. On January 31, maybe like 1 or 2am, he asked if I would be his girlfriend. I pretended I didn't hear him because I didn't expect it at all and didn't know how to respond. I hadn't even thought about that possibility yet. He asked again and I joked and played it off. That day we drove home, and he dropped me off then proceeded to drive back to his house, another hour and a half away. It was after midnight, he was headed out on a work trip that day and I got a text about 10 mins after he left. He had a flat. My Mom used her AAA to get a mechanic to come out and sort his truck out and before he left, I just said, ask me again. He looked puzzled, but surprised. Ask me again, I repeated, and he almost immediately spit out, "Will you be my girlfriend?" On February 1, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. He was eager to update his Facebook relationship status and profile picture to one that we'd taken together over the weekend. I was finally with a nice guy. He went on a work training trip a couple weeks later and we texted for hours every night. One night we talked until almost 4am and he was late for his class the next day. He was genuinely interested in talking to me, in paying attention, in caring about me. It was a new experience for me. I was actually happy. Happy with the guy I was trying to brush off a few weeks before so I could go about my life as a single person, because I'd been happy that way. I love Disney. He suggested we take a trip there together and he planned it for May. In early May, we were taking a walk around my neighborhood and it was nice and sunny out. I said something about it feeling good and getting sun and spread my arms out and lifted my head to jokingly sun myself and he said not to get too much sun or, and these are his words, "my parents are going to think I'm dating a black girl." What. The. Actual. Fuck. I didn't know how to respond, I was shocked, by the words and by the fact that they came from him. He had mentioned that his mom had some racist tendencies and when he told me about them, he seemed to disapprove of them, so maybe this was in reference to that? Maybe I was taking it the wrong way? Maybe I was too easily offended. I kept walking, silently for a minute, and then continued along with other conversation. I put aside my discomfort to avoid creating tension. Looking back, I did that entirely too many times throughout our relationship- dealing with discomfort internally so that I wouldn’t rub him the wrong way. Honestly, one time was too many, and looking back I would have done things very differently, starting with immediately calling him on that shit and forcing him to explain what he meant by it why he thought it was okay to say something like that to me- or in general. Over the years, I did manage to get some things through to him-- I am very vocal about my beliefs and social injustices, ignorance, racism, homophobia, etc. and I have zero tolerance for people who express any of those things... I think I just didn't want to see any of those characteristics or tendencies in the person that I loved, the person who had gotten me to fall for him by being so kind and caring and nice. Moving on, one thing that really scares me is the fact that even the guys who seem genuinely nice, and play the role for a while, can still turn around and crush you even harder than the guys who are kind of jerks right from the jump. I've dated the jerk, and I've dated the not so nice, "nice" guy. I honestly don't know which is worse. And I don't think my heart can take going through something like the last 5 years again. I seem to be the one in relationships who presents myself honestly and remains consistent, while the guy does whatever the hell he wants without any regard for how it will affect me or make me feel. I deserve more, and maybe that looks like me being single long term.

[sweetchcolate]

ZNT3A, day 1: safety

It was weird, Lisa thought, how she felt more at peace in the company of two strangers who tried to kill her mere days ago than with people she had known her entire life.

Granted, it was not like Twelve and Nine actively planned to harm her: she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, the duo took the time to coax her out with precise instructions before the bombs were set off, giving Lisa the choice to become an accomplice or die.

(Granted again, it wasn’t as if she would have chosen death, but Lisa was glad someone finally gave her the chance to choose. It was hard to recall when someone last asked for her opinion on a matter…)

Looking back, these two boys had shown her more courtesy in the span of hours than her classmates through the years. If anything, the latter had tormented her with gratuitous insults and physical abuse, glaring eyes full of hostility and sickly smiles twisted up in contentment at her pain.

But when she regained consciousness the second time that day, the first sight filling her vision was that of Twelve’s brows furrowed in… worry? His voice was reassuring and low as he suggested she take a bath to help with the fever, a slow comforting smile breaking on Twelve’s lips when she nodded. He had even helped her up, eyes warm and hands hovering in case she fainted a third time on him.

As for Nine, he provided her with a towel and some utilities, his face impossible to read as he drew the items from the cupboards. He gruffly instructed her to not shower with water too hot or cold as it would worsen her illness, promptly leaving before she could speak a word.

At that moment, Lisa felt more cared for than at any point in her life. Even though she shared the same apartment as two seventeen-years-old boys she knew nothing of (besides the fact they fabricated bomb) and even though she was a complete stranger, Twelve and Nine had treated her with a kindness and politeness no one else showed her.

She was grateful.

-

Twelve and Nine had warned her they would be back by noon and Lisa didn’t doubt they would make good on their words.  The moment she saw them exit the building, she sprang into action.

Lisa opened the fridge, scanning each ingredient inside. In the cupboards, she found various pots of dried spices as well as some cooking utensils. Doing some quick mental calculations, Lisa deduced she would have to hurry if she wanted to have a presentable meal ready by the time the boys came back.

Despite the fact she had never tried her hand at cooking, she didn’t see the difficulty of the task. She just needed to throw some oil in a pan and then add the ingredients and stir so nothing would burn. Easy, right?

Well, preparing one dish and keeping her eyes on it was simple enough, but the more she added pans onto the stove, the harder it was to keep everything under wraps. While her attention was focused on the meat, the oil sizzled and the vegetables burned. No, no, no! This wouldn’t do, there was no way she could present this to Nine and Twelve!

Huffing, Lisa placed the burned pans aside, starting anew. No matter how many times things went wrong, she couldn’t give up: after everything Twelve and Nine did for her, the least she could do was pay them back by preparing their meals and tidying up the apartment. Lisa didn’t want to simply mooch off them and get in their way.

She would make herself useful, one way or another!

By the time the boys were back, Lisa finally had some semblance of a meal going. She plated up, ignoring the smoke clinging to her clothes, the distinctive smell of burned food, Nine’s face of utter disgust, and Twelve’s expression of reluctance. She intently watched as the boys poked their food with a fork, slowly pushing and turning around the zucchinis and the fish until Nine finally took a mouthful.

And immediately spit it out.

“This is terrible,” he said, crossing his arms and sitting back.

Lisa’s heart sank to the bottom of her stomach. “What? No way, I made sure the food turned out well!”

Lisa turned to Twelve, seeking some sort of backup. She watched intently as he took a bite, winced, and spoke: “This isn’t edible.”

Traitor! After all her efforts too! She gave her all to prepare them a meal, and they didn’t even like it?

“Aren’t you being too harsh?” Lisa asked, getting defensive. Yes, she expected her cooking attempts would be less than perfect, but the boys were clearly exaggerating. The food wasn’t even burned this time!

“Have you tried taking a bite, then?”

Well, she had wanted to, but she was too anxious for the boys’ reactions. Dissatisfied with their opinion, Lisa dug in and brought food to her mouth, wanting to prove them wrong.

Ugh.

It was so salty! She could barely stomach the taste as the food rolled around her mouth, and Lisa had to gulp down a glass of water to tone down the saltiness of the bite. Even after she swallowed, she could still feel the aftertaste of salt burning her tongue, and Lisa put down her fork, unwilling to repeat the experience.

They had been right.

(Still, they didn’t have to be so blunt. They could have showed some appreciation for her efforts, right?)

As if the experience wasn’t horrible enough, Nine had seen right through her intentions behind preparing a meal and told her, in clear terms, that her plan of making herself useful had completely backfired.

Thoroughly chastised, her head pounding, Lisa didn’t resist as Twelve helped her upstairs. He covered her with a blanket, returning moments later to place a cool towel on her forehead and gifting her with her stuffed penguin.

“Don’t take Nine’s words too seriously, alright?” Twelve said with a slight smile. “I’ve been his personal cook for years and he still finds a way to complain. You can’t win against him.”

“He didn’t have to be so blunt,” Lisa muttered, closing her eyes and snuggling under the blankets. Twelve readjusted the cold towel, easing away the strands of hair that had fallen on her forehead.

“Hey, Lisa?”

“Mm?”

There was a brief silence and the old couch creaked as Twelve leaned his weight on the furniture, bending until his face was so close to hers she could feel his breathing on her ears. As if she wasn’t already warm, Lisa felt the flush creep from her neck all the way to her ears.

“Thank you for the meal.”

A/N: HERE IT IS, AAAHH

Something that’s always baffled me when watching ZnT is the sheer amounr of trust Lisa puts in Twelve and Nine. I mean, at this point she had a maybe 5-min conversation with these two boys, but she still takes up Twelve’s offer to escape from the police, touches their stuff despite knowing they bombed a govt offce, bathes in the same apartment where two 17-years-old guys live, decides to prepare them food, and has no qualms staying over. 

And that Lisa is more comfortable and open around these perfect strangers than with anyone else she has known in her life speaks volumes about her past and the way people have treated her so far ._.

Lisa is amazing

[chimchimchoo]

Sightless :: 2

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word Count: 2,046

Pair: Yoongi x Jimin

Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 (of 13)

“On a typical Saturday, a near-fatal accident destroyed his eyesight.

Now Park Jimin feared Saturdays. Whether it was the most beautiful, clear day out or a rough, raging storm. Every Saturday, he would go into hiding, away from the world, away from any danger.

But then Min Yoongi shows up, picking up the little pieces of life Jimin lost and tries to show him that Saturdays can be, in fact, the safest day of the week.”

A/N: Every chapter switches perspectives, the name of that person (Jimin/Yoongi) will be in bold before the start of the chapter.

JIMIN

2 years later

“Oh god, here he comes.”

Jimin responded with a loud giggle as he drank his juice box, hearing footsteps approaching. “Taehyung, honestly, you really think we’re going to let you sit with us after that stupid prank you pulled yesterday?” Jin tapped his fingers on the table in annoyance, giving the boy an angry glare.

“Oh come on, covering the professor’s office with toilet paper and pictures of my ass isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever done.” The comment sent Jimin sputtering out his drink, drowning in his own laughter.

“Oh man, I wish I could have seen that.” He wiped his tears away.

“What kind of sick humor is that, Jimin?” Jungkook coughed so suddenly by his response.

“Jin let him sit with us. He did a good deed, no one liked that professor anyway.” Hoseok protested as Jimin pat on the empty seat beside him, motioning Taehyung to sit.

“Oh Jimin, you won’t let Jin punish me will you?” He whined dramatically, wrapping his arms around the boy so suddenly, he almost dropped his juice box. “No, in fact, I’m at the point of disliking this professor so much, I’d do it with you.”

“Now that’s a real friend, you hear me?” Taehyung smothered Jimin, rubbing his cheek against his.

“They’re like a married couple, it’s so gross.” Namjoon muttered, flipping through his overly large math textbook.

Jimin’s best friends, Taehyung, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jin and Jungkook were the entire world to him. The only reason he was still living his everyday life like nothing ever happened was because of those friends with the absolute worst sense of humor.

Without them, he didn’t know where he would be right now.

They were able to help him get through almost everything except for one thing.

“Tae, what time is it?”

Taehyung glanced at his watch. “Almost 2.”

“I gotta get going to class, I’ll see you all later.” Jimin sat up from the bench, pulling out his white cane.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

He tossed his juice box in the trash bin by the table he sat at, five steps away. Over time, he learned to memorize the location of different items in his everyday life by counting the number of steps.

“Call me later! I’m going to need your help with the writing project!” Hoseok shouted as Jimin waved goodbye to them, making his way toward the music building.

Slowly, but surely, Jimin was able to find his way around the university without much struggle, but he still had some days where he would accidently take the wrong step and become so disoriented, it threw him into a state of panic.

It took him nearly half a year to be talked into using braille textbooks and voice automatic electronics and it took him even longer to accept that his eyesight was gone forever. He was on a waitlist for donors, but the eyes were the hardest to come across, Jimin gave up hope long ago.

Two years passed since the accident, Jimin slowly forgot what colors looked like, what kind of expressions his friends made and at one point, he completely forgot what his own face looked like.

Jimin’s friends grew used to his sudden and constant touches, eventually understanding that he used it to recognize their faces and differentiate between them.

He stopped at the 43rd step and opened the door to the music building, strolling into the warm hallway in contrast to the cool, fall air outside. It was quiet and peaceful, everyone was already in their own classes, practicing their instrument or memorizing a dance routine

When Jimin turned the corner, something slammed into him so suddenly; knocking the wind right out of him.

“Watch where you’re going.” Jimin sat up from the floor, moving his hands around for the cane and the sunglasses that flew off his nose. Still self-conscious about walking around with eyes that looked slightly different from others on display, Jimin wore dark glasses to keep them covered. Whether he was in or outside, for as long as Jimin was out of his apartment, he never took them off.

“You watch where you’re going.” The voice muttered harshly, shuffling up from the floor, brushing off his clothes.

Jimin’s fingers eventually came in contact with his white cane, lifting himself up from the ground. Based on the location of the voice, Jimin faced in his direction with a scowl. “You were the one that came crashing into me, you should apologize.”

“Oh god...what happened to your eyes?” He heard the person ask with slight disgust as Jimin quickly slid the glasses back on. His irises were white and cloudy, not exactly the most common color out there. “That’s none of your business.” Jimin snapped.

“Whatever, I’m going to be late for my piano class thanks to you.” The figure walked past Jimin, purposely smacking into his shoulder.

“Wrong direction buddy, second floor, third door to your left.” Jimin heard an annoyed groan but couldn’t help but smile when he heard the figure retract his steps, walking in the opposite direction.

Brushing himself off, Jimin extended out his hand, feeling the wall beside him and searched for the nearest door to read the room number, figuring out how far down the hall he walked.

Getting himself back on track, Jimin stepped through the quiet hall until he reached the door to his classroom, swinging it open before striding in. He bowed to the professor and apologized for his tardiness.

All he could hear was a faint groan of embarrassment coming from the back of the room as the professor instructed him to sit down. Jimin mazed through the chairs until he came upon his familiar spot, sitting down as he slid off his bag.

“Are you kidding me?” The voice whispered harshly beside Jimin and he could only reply with a snicker. “You’re seriously taking piano classes out of everything else this building has to offer?”

“Judging by the sound of your voice, you must be a new student.” He whispered back. “So if you want to get technical, I was here first.”

“Jimin!” The professor boomed. “Since you were late for class, you get the honor of partnering with the new transfer beside you, Min Yoongi.”

“Ah, so that’s your name, Yoongi.” He could practically feel the boy beside him roll his eyes in response.

“Now, this is important, I want you all to get to know your partners, collaborate on a music sheet together, produce a new song and perform it with the piano at the end of this term, understand?”

“Aye.” Some students shouted.

“Also, you are required to come in for lab on Saturdays and get your piano practices out of the way, got it?” The entire class had scattered responses, the majority of them groaning in protest. Out of them all, one student raised their hand.

“Yes Jimin?”

“Sir, what if we can’t come in on Saturdays?”

“Then you and your partner will just have to arrange a time to meet elsewhere if you won’t be on campus that day, this is a huge part of your grade, I will need reports to prove you’ve done your lab hours.”

“But professor,” Jimin began, his voice growing shaky. “What if we can’t meet anyone on Saturdays, period?”

“Is there something you’d like to tell me, Jimin? Something more important you must do?”

Jimin sat quietly and bit his lip, debating on how to respond to the question. “Nevermind.” He said with a defeated tone.

“Alright, then let's move on, everyone get to your pianos. Jimin, unfortunately, we had to rearrange the room so Yoongi will show you the way to Piano B.”

He heard the professor shouting out instructions to other students. The sounds of footsteps and students turning the pages of their music books filled the air. The class scattered to their assigned pianos, the light melody created by piano keys echoed.

“Uh, okay. The piano's right next to us, but I have a question.” Jimin heard paper rustling from the person beside him, assuming Yoongi was flipping through a notebook of some sort. “I’ve written out a bunch of drafts,” He felt the notebook being shoved in his hands. “Should we just go off of one of these?”

Jimin scoffed quietly, baffled by the person called Yoongi. He was amazed how dense this boy was, as if the glasses and the white cane wasn’t already scream ‘I’m blind’. “I’m not quite sure if you noticed this yet.” He waved a hand in front of his face. “I’m actually blind. Like straight up ‘I have no idea how ugly you might be’ blind. I’m going to have a little trouble reading this music sheet. Why don’t you play the song for me instead?”

Yoongi ended up a stuttering mess, unable to return a comeback of sorts. Jimin grinned with pride as felt a faint breeze just inches away from his face. “You don’t believe me do you? You know, I may be blind but I can actually feel your hand moving in front of my face you idiot.

Jimin stood up from his seat, pulling out the white cane as he carefully maneuvered himself through the cluster of chairs with an occasional but helpful directional shout from Yoongi behind him. He eventually found his way to the piano, running his finger along the carved wood until they reached the slick keys.

He pressed a key and closed his eyes, feeling the sound resonate through his bones. Despite the lack of eyesight, closing his eyes still gave him that sense of focus and gifted him the ability to hear the sound of each chord even better.

His fingers began to hover across the keyboard, pressing the different notes as he legs ached to dance to the melody. After a moment of getting lost into the song, it came to an end and Jimin’s hands slid off the keyboard, landing into his lap.

“Alright, warm up time is over, show me what you got.”

Jimin slid down the long bench, his hands searching for the edge in order to know how far he could go without the risk of falling off. Patting the empty seat beside him, he gestured Yoongi to join as a body shuffled beside him. Jimin heard him crack his knuckles a few times and then the first key could be heard. And then the second. And then the third.

Eventually Jimin made out a melody, one that was all too familiar to him.

One that made his head grow dizzy.

He could see it all flash back in an instant. The headlights, the glass shattering, his body crushed against the weight of the car seat.

A hand flew up suddenly, landing right on the board where Yoongi’s hands were, silencing the song with the gong of multiple piano keys being pressed at once. Momentarily, the classroom grew silent and then continued chattering like nothing happened.

“What’s your problem?” He heard a sharp whisper beside him as Yoongi pulled his hands off the piano.

Jimin’s expression quickly changed as he let out a joking laugh, the nausea slowly fading away. “I was messing with you, just to see if you were the jumpy kind or not.” He let the lie roll out of his tongue, hoping Yoongi wouldn’t further question it. “Let’s move on the composing, I’ll let you do the honors of writing it.”

The class lingered on, Jimin dancing his fingers along the keys, searching for a melody that flowed as Yoongi, biting his tongue, scribbled his pencil across the notebook. Music notes were drawn up and down the scale. Some scratched out, some erased and written over repetitively.

The two boys bickered back and forth, agreeing and disagreeing on certain ideas and compositions that they could come up with. At one point while Yoongi was shuffling through his backpack to search for his iPod, Jimin dozed off over the piano, his nose hovering over one of the white keys.

With an offended scoff, Yoongi pulled out his ipod. Was he really that boring to work with? Nudging him roughly, Jimin shot up, shaking his head to compose himself and quickly apologized to Yoongi with an embarrassed grin.

The professor's voice boomed over the sound of multiple pianos as the class grew still, listening attentively. He sent out a reminder to the class to have a certain amount of the composition done by next Tuesday and to complete their required Saturday lab.

As students shuffled, packing up their books and pouring out of the classroom, Jimin slowly lifted up his bag, setting it on his lap.

“Do you…use the phone?”

Jimin glanced in the direction of the hesitant voice, rising up his eyebrow questionably. “Of course I do, I’m not that dumb.”

“Then give it to me, you’re going to need my number, no?”

Jimin slid his hand into the familiar pocket of his bag, where he always kept his phone and pulled it out, handing it to the air beside him, waiting for Yoongi to grab it. When the device was taken out of his hands, Jimin sat patiently as he inserted his information into it, sending himself a text to obtain Jimin’s number as well.

“So, when on Saturday works best for you? I prefer the afternoon because I actually like to sleep in on weekends.” Yoongi set the phone back in Jimin’s hand as he responded with a stutter, unable to find a reply.

“Well I mean, if you’re a morning person...I guess we can work something out.”

“What about Friday?” He suddenly boasted.

“Tomorrow? Sorry kid, I got a studio class.”

Jimin bit his lip as a nervous habit, racking through his mind for a way to get himself out of Saturday’s lab. Everything he could think of just sounded like lame excuses. Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his pumpkin hair. “Does four work?”

“Four it is.” He heard Yoongi standing up from his seat, his footsteps fading further away from him. “Meet me in this room.” It was the last thing Jimin heard before he left the classroom, leaving the boy alone in utter silence.

Well shit, that complicated things.

[supermovielover-blog]

[Movie Review] Seven Days in May

Seven Days in May is a taut, intelligent thriller about an attempted military takeover of the United States government which has been beautifully brought to Blu-ray by the Warner Archive.

Seven Days in May (1964)

Released: 01 Mar 1964

Rated: APPROVED

Runtime: 118 min

Director: John Frankenheimer

Genre: Drama, Romance, Thriller

Cast: Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Fredric March, Ava Gardner

Writer(s): Fletcher Knebel (novel), Charles W. Bailey II (novel), Rod Serling (screenplay)

Plot: United States military leaders plot to overthrow the President because he supports a nuclear disarmament treaty and they fear a Soviet sneak attack.

IMDB rating: 7.9

MetaScore: N/A

Disc Information

Studio: Paramount

Distributed By: Warner Archive

Video Resolution: 1080P/AVC

Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1

Audio: English 2.0 DTS-HDMA

Subtitles: English SDH

Rating: Not Rated

Run Time: 1 Hr. 58 Min.

Package Includes: Blu-ray

Case Type: Standard Blu-ray Case

Disc Type: BD50 (dual layer)

Region: A

Release Date: 05/02/2017

MSRP: $21.99

The Production: 5/5

I’m suggesting, Mr. President, there’s a military plot to take over the government. – Colonel Martin “Jiggs” Casey

Seven Days in May is a taut, intelligent thriller about an attempted military takeover of the United States government which has been beautifully brought to Blu-ray by the Warner Archive.

The President of the United States, Jordan Lyman (Frederic March), has recently negotiated a nuclear disarmament treaty with the Soviet Union, a treaty which has deeply divided American citizens and is strongly opposed by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Air Force General James Mattoon Scott (Burt Lancaster). The Gallup Poll shows that the approval rating of the president has sunk to a new low, and a demonstration in front of the White House has broken out in a brawl between Lyman supporters and those who are opposed to the treaty.

In the meantime, the president is meeting with his most trusted advisors: his appointments secretary Paul Girard (Martin Balsam) and Senator Ray Clark (Edmond O’Brien) of Georgia. There are serious and justifiable concerns about the Soviet Union’s willingness to abide by the treaty, and there is likely to be some pain experienced by an economy with has been on a war-readiness footing since the end of World War II. The continual bashing of the treaty by the charismatic General Scott, Senator Frederick Prentice (Whit Bissell), and rabble-rousing television commentator Harold McPherson (Hugh Marlowe) has helped to turn the tide of public opinion against the president.

Scott attends a contentious hearing before the Senate Armed Forces Committee with his assistant, Marine Colonel Martin “Jiggs” Casey (Kirk Douglas), after which they discuss a Top Secret training alert which has been scheduled for the following Sunday. Scott reminds his assistant that only a relatively few military officers and the president know about the alert, and even the Congress is being kept in the dark.

Casey then goes to the Joint Chiefs communications center to review the classified messages which have arrived that day. A talkative junior officer points out to him that Scott has sent out an unusual message on classified channels about a betting pool for the upcoming Preakness Stakes. The recipients of the message are all high-ranking military officers, and only one, Vice-Admiral Barnswell (John Houseman), the commander of the Sixth Fleet, has declined to participate. Casey shrugs it off, figuring that rank has its privileges, but shortly thereafter he bumps into an old friend, Colonel William “Mutt” Henderson (Andrew Duggan). After exchanging pleasantries, Henderson mentions that he is now the Executive Office of ECOMCON. Casey is momentarily taken aback because he has never heard of ECOMCON, even though his position in the Pentagon requires him to know about all military commands. Henderson naturally assumes that Casey knows all about ECOMCON, so when his friend inquiries about the command’s staffing he replies that there are 100 officers and 3,600 enlisted men stationed at a base near El Paso.

Casey is baffled and troubled about the fact that he has been left out of the loop regarding ECOMCON, and he is mildly annoyed a few minutes later when Scott’s aide, Colonel Murdock (Richard Anderson), quizzes him about whether he said anything to Henderson about the alert. Casey then casually mentions Scott’s Preakness pool, and Murdock almost flies off the handle. This unexpected reaction prompts Casey to begin making inquiries about ECOMCON, but he finds that the Pentagon operator has no phone number for a command by that name. At a party that evening Senator Prentice lets slip to Casey that he knows about the alert. Late in the evening Casey decides that he had better drive to General Scott’s house to report this, but when he arrives he discovers that Senator Prentice’s car is parked there.

The next morning Casey, suspicious about what he saw last night, asks his boss if he didn’t sleep well. “Got to bed too early,” lies Scott. “Slept from 8:00 to 8:00. Too much sleep.” Following a meeting of the Joint Chiefs, which Casey does not attend, he has a brief chat with Scott, who is leaving for New York to give a speech. Casey then notices a scrap of paper has been left on a table, which he instinctively picks up. It is a handwritten note which mentions ECOMCON and an airlift which is scheduled for Sunday, the day of the alert. Casey is persuaded that something is amiss, and he risks his career by asking for a meeting with President Lyman.

Burt Lancaster is imposing and thoroughly convincing as General Scott. Kirk Douglas recruited Lancaster to appear in the film, and reportedly he came to regret that Lancaster got the meatier role, but Jiggs Casey is more complex and in some respects the more interesting character of the two. Frederic March is excellent as the unpopular president who has less than a week to find out if there is anything to Casey’s suspicions. The always reliable Edmond O’Brien is superb as the hard-drinking Senator Clark, a performance which earned him an Academy Award nomination. Martin Balsam is equally effective as Paul Girard, and John Houseman is fine in the small but important role of Admiral Barnswell.

Also getting star billing is Ava Gardner as Eleanor Holbrook, a Washington socialite who has a past with both Casey and Scott. The depiction of Holbrook in the film is a considerable departure from the novel by Fletcher Knebel and Charles W. Bailey II. In the novel she is in her late twenties and living in New York City, and she willingly provides Casey with some information which proves to be important in the story’s ultimate outcome. Gardner plays her as an older woman, and while the interaction between her and Casey is interesting, in the end it does not amount to much.

The film’s often electrifying script is by Rod Serling, and in most respects it is true to the novel. A few scenes have been compressed – for example, the novel begins on Sunday but the film opens on Monday, which required moving the Preakness Stakes from Saturday to Sunday or it would have been Six Days in May. The chronology of the ending also has been changed, making it more tense and dramatic.

Seven Days in May is directed with skill and intensity by John Frankenheimer, whose previous film was the highly controversial The Manchurian Candidate. He had a reputation for being a demanding director who always knew exactly what he wanted, which apparently suited Lancaster. They had previously worked together on The Young Savages and Birdman of Alcatraz, and would so again on The Train.

The premise of Seven Days in May is that democracy is a fragile form of government. Its viability depends upon the willingness of those in power to peacefully turn over that power to others when the electorate so decides. In the United States it requires faithful adherence to the Constitution, even when that document gets in the way of policies which many might strongly support. President Lyman eloquently states his feelings on the subject:

There’s been abroad in this land in recent months a whisper that we have somehow lost our greatness, that we do not have the strength to win, without war, the struggles for liberty throughout the world. This is slander. Because our country is strong, strong enough to be a peacemaker. It is proud, proud enough to be patient. The whisperers and the detractors, the violent men, are wrong. We remain strong and proud, peaceful and patient. And we will see a day when on this earth all men will walk out of the long tunnels of tyranny into the bright sunshine of freedom.

That sentiment undoubtedly strikes some as hopeful and others as hopelessly naive. Regardless, this country’s democracy has survived for nearly 250 years, and Seven Days in May is a timely reminder that preserving it requires eternal vigilance.

Video: 5/5

3D Rating: NA

Frankenheimer preferred to film in black & white, and this sparkling Blu-ray transfer helps us to understand why. It is framed at 1.78:1 and is delivered in 1080p via the AVC codec. The picture is very sharp, with the unavoidable exception of some brief dissolves. Black levels are solid, shadow detail is excellent, and contrast is strong. A natural level of film grain has been retained to give Seven Days in May a natural film-like appearance.

The superb cinematography is the work of Ellsworth Fredericks (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Sayonara). President Kennedy was fond of the novel and gave permission for Frankenheimer to film the opening protest scene on location in front of the White House, while the president was away for a weekend. He also gave permission for the set designers to come in and sketch the interior of the White House, which gives the film a strong sense of authenticity. The shots of Paul Girard boarding an aircraft carrier were filmed aboard an active carrier, USS Kitty Hawk, in San Diego (doubling as Gibraltar).

Readers are encouraged to read the laudatory comments of our resident film restoration expert, Robert A. Harris:

A few words about…™ Seven Days in May — in Blu-ray

Audio: 4.5/5

The DTS HD-MA 2.0 soundtrack is flawless. Dialogue is crystal clear, ambient sounds provide some realistic effects, and Jerry Goldsmith’s pulsating score, particularly during the opening credits, makes it clear that this is a very serious film.

English SDH subtitles are available.

Special Features: 2.5/5

The extras on this Blu-ray disc consist of the original theatrical trailer (which is rather long with a running time of 3 minutes, 42 seconds) and a very informative commentary track by director John Frankenheimer. We are fortunate to have the commentary track as it was recorded in 1999, just three years before he died from complications following back surgery. Both extras apparently appear on the 2000 DVD release of Seven Days in May.

The director goes into great deal about the film’s production, discussing everything from filming locations to camera angles to the actors. I was surprised to learn that he had done a considerable amount of prior work with Rod Serling on television dramas. He also tells the story about how he decided to have the first scene of the film on a Monday but then realized that the story would end on Saturday. His friend Charles Lederer came up with the idea of having the Preakness Stakes run on a Sunday so that the story would cover a full seven days. Nobody seemed to mind, even though horse racing wasn’t done on Sundays in 1964.

Overall: 5/5

Seven Days in May is a top-notch political thriller with a cast which features some of Hollywood’s finest actors. I enjoyed the story so much that I re-read the novel immediately after I saw the announcement that the Blu-ray was coming out.

Source: https://www.hometheaterforum.com/seven-days-may-blu-ray-review/

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

They said I was crazy. Definitely possible.

I got up at 5 today. That’s the earliest I have been up for this whole trip and the only day I got to chose the time to get out of bed. It’s going to be an Aviva sort of day.

All packed up, I checked my luggage at the front desk of the hotel, booked a cab for later tonight, made a stop at the ATM, and then walked to the metro station, about 20 minutes away. It’s definitely Monday; I was walking against the commuter crowds getting off the train. The metro here is great, easy to use, cheap, clean, and you get great views along the way, but the way in which people use it is a little wacky. At every station I have been at, no matter the time of day, there are tremendous queues of people waiting to buy a ticket. You have to imagine most people using the metro are locals who could buy weekly or monthly tickets, so this baffles me.

I waited in the queue with everyone else and then made my way to the Caribe station, where I transferred to the bus station. Similar in many ways to the Port Authority except I have no idea what anyone is saying. Luckily I had done some research beforehand so I knew which ticket window to use, and bought a ticket to Guatape. I am attempting this trip on my own, which costs about a fifth of the price of a guided tour but will be more than five times the adventure. 

I get on the bus at the noted location, and see two French guys on the bus, too, which is a good sign that I am in the right spot. Mind you, this is not NJ transit, this is a 20-person bus that locals take as a cheap way to get around the countryside and between towns up in the hills and the city. Chinatown bus-esque, but very different. A man brought 50 eggs on the bus with him to bring home, and three other guys got on with machetes. I asked the guy next to me if this bus was going to Guatape. No, he said, its the bus next to this one. This was strange, since the bus was in the slot I was directed to, but I was somewhat relieved to get off the bus with fellow passengers carrying machetes. 

I got off the bus and onto the other, asked if this was the bus to Guatape. No, they said, it’s the one I was just on.

And so it begins.

I get off the second bus and go back to the first bus and the driver says something I can’t pretend to understand, and then gets in the bus and backs out of the spot to leave. And then pulls into the spot adjacent to it. Fucker parked in the wrong spot. Of course I will get on the wrong bus. 

French boys have gotten off the bus at this point, and there is a third gringo watching and figuring things out, as well. Finally the correct bus pulls into the correct spot, we all get on, and are on our way. Just like most places, salsa and bachata music play the whole time. Like two hours, whole time.

I end up sitting next to the third gringo guy and after chatting a bit, he joins me for the climb up the 675 steps at the giant rock at El Penol, the walk to Guatape, and for lunch in the town before I head back to Medellin. I’d really rather spend the day on my own, but despite being Ukranian and living in Amsterdam, his Spanish is much better than mine and I don’t mind the navigational assistance. 

The rock we climbed towers over the surrounding landscape, and it’s amazing how they built the zig zag steps up to the top. And the views from the top of the man made lake, and therefore man made islands, are really incredible. Not much to do after taking in the view and grabbing a few shots, so then we made our way down. Getting from the rock to the adjacent small town was about a 40 min walk, and was worth it compared to the 10 min tuk tuk ride because there were some small little hiking sections with some more great views, plus a rickety suspension bridge I got to walk over across the highway.

The town of Guatape was very cute with lots of colorful little houses, each with its own plaques along its frontage, generally representing the industry or profession of those who live there. We walked around a bit, grabbed some food, and then he met up with some other friends and I got the bus back to Medellin. The sign at the entry of the town was my favorite; it listed facts about the town- elevation, population, and temperature. 22 degrees celcius, in print. It is that temperature so frequently that they added it as a fact about the place.

The bus ride back was less eventful than the one in the morning and I successfully made it back to the metro in less than two hours. From there, I transferred to a different tram line, to go explore Comuna 13, historically one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Medellin. It has transformed since then, but is still quite dangerous and tourists are not advised to travel alone. This, says the tourist traveling alone.

But first, I was distracted by the funicular, which is part of the metro system. It doesn’t really go to anywhere safe, but I felt it would be fine to take it to the end of the line and then turn around and come back, which was more than fine - it was the best part of the whole day. The funicular must have hundreds of little pods, each carrying 8 people. The system never stops - it just slows down at the stations for people to get on and off. The ride in each car is smooth and peaceful as you hover over some of the poorest communities, full of cobbled together houses made with cinder blocks and covered with corrugated metal roofs. The most amazing part of the system, however, to me at least, is that the funicular actually has multiple stops along the way - it’s not just taking you from point A to B, but has stations along the way. And it goes so far up into the hills, that it actually goes up and down over the ridges of the hills. It was so much fun that I went all the way to the end, went back to the beginning, and then did the ride all over again. On the way back to the starting point, one of the pods behind us got stuck leaving one of the stations. I was with seven other people, all of them speaking Spanish, and when the whole system stopped working, they started talking to each other and I didn’t have a clue what was really going on except that I did understand the word “pendulum”. Apparently when the pod spacing is off, it throws the whole system off, and everyone has to wait for things to get rebalanced at the next station. In the meantime, hanging in the sky by a cable and stopping abruptly results in all the pods swaying like a pendulum. So I did know what they were talking about. I also picked up a few words here in there about how they even think some of the neighborhoods up in the hills are dangerous. I definitely understood when they said something was dangerous, and when they started talking about cartels. It was kind of amazing that in such a dangerous place that you could get stuck in the air with seven other people but feel totally safe. 

I finally stopped riding the funicular and went via taxi to see the Comuna 13 area. If I wasn’t alone I’d feel safer overall, but the neighborhood between the station and the escalators to the heart of the Comuna 13 didn’t really appeal to me. A taxi was a good idea. I went up the escalators, saw many tourists up there, but still didn’t feel comfortable wandering around much, so made my way back down and got another taxi back to the station. I feel like I wimped out a little, but I feel like I am smart enough to know when I don’t feel safe. 

Back at the main station, I got a train back to the main metro route to go back to the area I was staying. On the train were about six really tall (over 6′) Australian guys that I had seen up by the escalators. They were probably 20 years old, if that, and just hanging out and goofing around on the train. The best part of them being there was that no one in Colombia is 6′ tall and the women sitting next to me were incredulous. I know how to say “grande” and pretended to have some small talk with these women, but after about two words I had to give up and tell them I didn’t speak Spanish. I was then adding to the excitement. One of the women was a girl about 17 years old and she was freaking out. She said “my name is Isabella” to me and I told her my name - the chance to speak English with someone seemed like it was the highlight of the year for her, and I told her the guys were Australian. She nearly fainted. This was way too much excitement for her. Six tremendously tall guys with blond hair and blue eyes  - she looked like she was in heaven. It was hilarious (and also interesting that her and the other women also noticed directly the color of everyone’s eyes - I don’t really think about seeing blue or green eyes as drastically different than brown - different yes, but not unusual). 

I transferred to the other train line and it was so packed and hot in the car that one woman fainted on the train just as I was getting on. It was incredible to watch how people dealt with the situation. Several other passengers picked her up and got her off the train within seconds, another passenger hit the emergency button on the train to alert the police, who came immediately, undid the emergency call, and went to tend to the woman, as the train doors closed and we left the station. No delay to the subway operations. It was amazing! I imagine in NY it would be a 30 minute delay, at a minimum. 

I walked back to the El Poblado neighborhood, bought some souvenirs, had dinner, went back to the hotel, and got my cab to the airport. We drove up the same road I biked on two days ago; I can’t even believe I biked up that hill. But the views were clear so I asked the driver to stop so I could see the views of the city all lit up at night, which he did, before continuing to the airport. 

It’s the beginning of the end. A red-eye flight home with a 9 AM meeting. Not much chance for adjusting to reality...

[valntinemorgenstern]

my experience teacher training

so i just finished a year of teacher training, and i now have a pgce in secondary english

and i’m writing this not with the intention of putting ppl off this career, but more for myself, in an attempt to rationalise what has otherwise been a traumatic and intensely stressful year that i am keen to never have to repeat ever again 

it’s amazing that i’ve reached this point? i almost quit this training course about 4 times throughout the year, though it must be said that i don’t think all trainees have had as negative an experience as i have had; i think i have been particularly unlucky. and the reason i say that is because so much of teacher training is, by nature of the fact that you’re placed in a school with a mentor -- unregulated and unmanaged -- it is pure pot luck where you get placed and who you’re put with. you are trained, as a teacher, by those individuals, and you have to toe their line and mould yourself to their standards. my major problem this year has not been the teaching, or the kids, but the ppl i was (forced) to work with. 

one of the hardest things was having to work with ppl who are, in most ways, ideologically opposed to me in terms of their work ethic and view on how best to teach english; being subordinate to ppl who evidently know far less about their subject than i do (and i don’t say that from a position of arrogance, but sheer painful fact) and trying to fit in with the teaching culture of ‘professionalism’. i had 2 complaints filed against me this year by my 2 mentors: both times for ‘unprofessional’ behaviour. the first occasion was because i disclosed to my mentor that i was struggling with the workload (working 13 hr days and also keeping up a part time job on weekends) and because she was suggesting (for instance) that i just ‘spend less time planning lessons’ without considering how that would compromise the already-not-fantastic standard of my lessons, and i explained this to her (though not in so many words). she perceived this as me not being ‘pro-active’ and ‘negative’ and ‘resistant to advice’. later on, she told me that it was ok if i was exhausted, because ‘that’s what teacher training is about. [i] should be exhausted. because that’s what people notice and what looks good when it comes to getting jobs’. 

after that, she filed her ‘concerns’ about me to the director of my course. after this point, i did not dare tell her about any struggles i was having (which is allegedly what mentors are supposed to be for?). my other mentor, at my main placement, who was by comparison far better -- was still generally patronising and very temperamental. if i didn’t have a lesson plan to him by a certain time the day before, he would tell me off for it. he filed a complaint against me for being unprofessional because i wasn’t ‘communicating’ i.e. me  (politely - i even invited other ppl to check this email) questioning him wanting me to make a lesson plan for a cover lesson that he wouldn’t ever teach; that i was questioning this he thought was incredibly arrogant. even though i apologised for his (imagined) offence, i went about my daily business avoiding him (he wouldn’t even say hello to me in the staff room). 

shitty, unsupportive, unapproachable, patronising, immature, and toxic mentors to one side -- the daily grind of delivering a lesson (which had taken 2 hours to plan) and then receiving feedback on it which was essentially 85% negativity on how it didn’t meet teacher standards and how -- at this point i should have done this, or that wasn’t explained clearly, and at that point you should have stepped in -- was not just demoralising, but i think the worst pummelling i’ve had to my personal self-confidence in a very, very long time (made me feel like i was 9 years old again, being bullied in school). where other trainees would receive feedback that would last 5 mins or so, my sessions would last half an hour where the teacher would go through with a fine toothcomb everything that was wrong in my lesson. in those feedback sessions, teachers i worked with were apparently baffled at my ‘defensive body-language’ and affronted by the way that I often asked them ‘what would you have done?’ because so many teachers had apparently noticed that i didn’t take feedback well, one of the directors of my course spoke to me about it. she said that i needed to have ‘more resilience’ and was concerned that ‘i didn’t enjoy receiving feedback’ and this was negatively impacting the way i was being received as a professional. i explained about how i felt a lot of my feedback was negative, rather than positive, and this meant that i didn’t particularly like it (how ridiculous of me!). she ignored the problems i threw up about certain teachers and mentors i was having to work with and instead focused on how i could make myself more ‘positive’ and determined to work on advice, rather than dread hearing it. (of course, the problem is me, not them. as always.) 

at various points throughout the year, when i was considering quitting, and particularly at the darkest point in my second placement, the only thing that got me through the days was the thought that my shitty mentor(s) would have won if i had quit. the only time when i received something near understanding and support was when i was forced to tell them (and i disliked disclosing to them anything about my personal life) that my dad had been diagnosed with cancer. and oh! suddenly! forget about the fact that they could see the stress of teaching had taken a huge mental and physical toll on me. (i have been more ill this year than i ever have in my life; my depression was getting so bad that it forced me for the first time to seek professional help.) suddenly, yes, we’ll do anything we can to help! though this was mostly an empty promise. one time, when i taught possibly the worst observed lesson ever (because of advice the host teacher had given me on how to plan it) they persisted on giving me horrible feedback, even when i was sitting there in floods of tears. apparently, this was their version of being compassionate and accommodating. 

there are some properly arrogant, soulless, and toxic people in teaching. by no means not all of them, no, and as i said i think i’ve been particularly unlucky -- but it’s surprising how it does seem to be a career that attracts so many people of the same breed. and so many people stuck in their ways; people who are deeply ignorant and have very retrograde views on education and society. don’t get me wrong, i’ve also met some lovely people, but sadly, i haven’t been able to work with them very much. despite how miserable this year has been for me, there have been positive things i’ve wrought out of it -- mostly around my social skills and my ability to perform in front of lots of people and pretend confidence. but mostly, i’m looking forward to this summer, to a chance to get back to reading and writing (that has mostly been sacrificed in the otherwise all-consuming workload of this year) and a chance to start healing.